The Desert

I love being a mother and I feel that it’s a blessing to be able to stay at home with my boys and spend my days with them.  But let’s be real-

I’m tired.  Winter has been long and I have felt myself become so weary.

I’ve been short with them.  I have not wanted to play very much.  I have even yelled.  And I have not been that loving, creative, joyful mom that I have in my head as who I should be.  You know, the one who runs around with her kids singing songs like Maria in The Sound of Music and loves to race cars down on the floor with her boys all day long- all with a smile on her face and a song in her heart.

I’ve felt a little bit like I’m in a desert lately.  I feel dried out and used up.  And I’m tempted to believe things that are not true.

• I’m a bad mother.
• My kids are awful (because I’m a bad mother).
• If I yell it will make me feel better.
• I’ve messed everything up so I should just be angry with everyone and pout because it’s never going to get better.

I know these things are not true but it’s easy to believe them sometimes.

In this week’s Good Morning Girls reading I began reading the book of Matthew.  Matthew gets straight to the point.  He establishes who Jesus is through his genealogy and family history in two short chapters then goes straight to Jesus’ temptation in the desert, baptism, and teaching the Sermon on the Mount.

Jesus’ time in the desert in Matthew chapter 4 has always spoken to me, but even more so right now.  The Spirit leads him out there to be tested.  I feel like often we think that when we follow the Spirit’s leading that things should go smoothly- that by following God we should be blessed for our obedience.  And we are- but being blessed may not look like what we think it should.

Jesus withdrew to the desert and fasted for 40 days and nights.  Then the tempter comes and tries to attack him in three ways-

1. he goes after his physical hunger- trying to get him to eat when he was fasting
2. he tries to get him to prove that God will protect him by getting him to physically endanger himself
3. he tries to tempt Jesus to worship him in exchange for all the kingdoms of the world

Each time the tempter attacks him Jesus combats the lies with the truth

1. We need spiritual nourishment from the word of God (verse 4)
2. No harm will come to us outside of God’s will but that doesn’t mean we should purposely endanger our bodies (verse 7)
3. Worship God alone… anything that Satan might give you for following him will perish- worshiping God has eternal benefits (verse 10)

Jesus demonstrates that the best way to combat the tests of temptations and lies is to fight them off with Biblical truths.

As soon as Jesus proves he is not giving into temptation the devil leaves him and the angels come and attend to his needs.

God will attend to my needs as well.  I was just talking to my husband last night and we have determined that I’m going to try a few tweaks to help combat the temptations of the mom desert that I find myself in currently.

1. I’m going to try to spend more quiet time with God.  I’ve been regular about having a quiet time in the morning before the boys get up but I am not as good about it on the weekends and some mornings I sleep in rather than get up and have it. My heart is in a much better place if I begin my day centered on Christ.
2. I’m going to pray more.  Throughout the day in those moments of weakness and temptation to be overly upset at my kids I really need to pray more.  I need to give my emotions over to God and allow him to calm my heart and lead me to more proper, loving reactions.
3. I’m going to rest more.  This is hard for me.  I feel like I have standards that I never live up to but I need to stop letting those ideals about a clean house, perfect meals, etc. push me to the point of exhaustion and rob me of the joy of doing life with my family- even if that means the floor is a mess and the dishes are a mile high.

I may be weary but I am not giving up.

Any other moms out there feeling a little dried up and weary?  I’d love to pray for you.  And if any of you more seasoned moms have advice on this I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

If you would like to join in reading the Bible one chapter a day with good Morning Girls you can find all the info at Women Living Well.

Cat

Cat is a teacher turned stay-at-home mom of two boys.  She shares crafts, DIY projects, kids’ activities, and a little bit about life in Ohio.  Learn more about her and the blog on the About page.